Pilot's Log

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For me, it depends on what the changes ARE. For example, if GONE WITH THE WIND or THE WIZARD OF OZ got tweaked into a widescreen version that lost none of the visual impact but instead enhanced it, with remastered sound and clearer picture quality, I'm sure everybody would want that. But I've said before that colorization doesn't always work.

When ET: THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL was tweaked by Spielberg, there was some justified contraversy about him changing the Deputies' riot shotguns to walkie-talkies in the bicycle chase scene. And, of course, George Lucas' meddling with the STAR WARS movies hasn't won him a lot of friends. If changes are made, they have to benefit the work as a whole, not just add gimmicks.

I'd been thinking about the movie MIDWAY. So much of that was stolen from other movies, that if it were me, I'd use modern tech to redo the parts that were from archives and so make it more honest and authentic. I'd redo the Doolittle Raid sequence so it wouldn't be from THIRTY SECONDS OVER TOKYO or even the PEARL HARBOR remake. I'd redo the sinking of the USS Lexington in the Coral Sea. I'd redo the Japanese raid on Midway Island so it isn't footage from TORA TORA TORA and THE BATTLE OF BRITAIN. And I'd redo thing's like George Gay's crash into the ocean and the ordeal of USS Yorktown. But I wouldn't think of changing the scenes with Fonda, Heston, Mifune and company. The drama is where it's good. It's the other elements that work against it.

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"Kentucky Rain". I wish the Pet Shop Boys had remade it the same time they remade "Always On My Mind".

COVENTRY

Original premise: Based on the Heinlein "Future History" novellas. In 2012, a radical social ultraconservative man name of Nehmiah Scudder gets elected to the Presidency of the United States. He then suspends the Constitution, enacts the New Crusade to nationalize the Protestant and Evangelist Churches, and begins the totalitarian American Inquisition genocide against Catholicism, Orthodox Churches and non-Christian faiths. As First Prophet he rules America for decades, even after his own physical death. It isn't until well into the 22nd Century that his regime is overthrown and the United States is restored.

American society is radically different after the Second Revolution and subsequent Reconstruction. Two generations later, a young man named David MacKinnon is convicted of the crime of Simple Assault and given a choice of medical treatment or exile. He chooses exile, and is sent to Coventry. Coventry is an open-air megaprison in a reservation that had belonged to a Native American tribe that was exterminated by the Scudder regime. Now it's ruled by the misfits of American society, divided into three realms: New America (basically a parody of lawful order administered by organized crime lords), the Free State (run by fascists and skinheads) and the Angels (the remnants of the Scudder ideology). David, who had hoped to find a peaceful and solitary place to homestead, immediately gets into trouble in New America and is busted out of Death Row by Fader Magee, a professional thief. The New Americans are organizing with the Free State, whom they had been at war with up to then, in an attempt to break out of Coventry and start a rebellion in the greater U.S. Upon learning the news, Fader reveals to Magee that he is a spy for the Secret Service, and the two of them try to get out of Coventry themselves to warn the Army. They succeed, but only through the most hazardous of circumstances. MacKinnon is paroled for "good behavior".

Reimagined: The discoveries of possible inhabitable planets in other star systems and of faster-than-light space travel lead to the idea of exploratory and colonization missions beyond the Solar System. However, the first FTL space travel system available is too bulky and energy-dependent for practical multi-use starships at the moment--what is possible is a device that accelerates single-use, disposable craft on one-way journeys from Earth to the new planets. The governments of Earth decide that the best way to proceed with colonization is to send convicts out to the new planets as the vanguard and force them to do the grunt work of building the colonies. Coventry is selected as one of the colonies.

MacKinnon arrives at Coventry to find that the convicts have invented their own starship drive and have been building warships to attack Earth. He and Fader hijack one and there is an interstellar chase. Can they make it back to Earth before a nuclear war breaks out in the heavens?

Another TV series that used to be regularly shown on Retro:

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

Original Premise: A war veteran who became a successful lawyer has the shock of his life when he is diagnosed with a unavoidably fatal--and inoperable--condition. Luckily, it's still in its early latent stage, so he'll be healthy for a while. But his physician only gives him a year or so to live.

"I haven't taken a day off since Law School," the lawyer says.

"See if you can pack twenty years of living in twelve months," his doctor tells him back.

And so the man quits his practice, and goes out into the world on a perpetual whirlwind adventure. He takes on daredevil missions for ad hoc causes, such as smuggling spies out of hostile nations, or testing race cars, or guiding a sailboat out of the path of a hurricane--whatever needs to be done and done NOW. He'll take on any task where the reward justifies--and circumstance demands--the risk of a man's life.

Reimagined: He takes his situation to the Internet. He has a blog, which is virally popular, written under the pseudonym "The Runner". He has a top-of-the-line smartphone through which he gets his assignments. Since he's amassed loads of Frequent Flyer miles from his previous life, he can go anywhere in the world at any time. His readers across the web find missions for him and help him whereever they can. (Since he is a military veteran, this series can be plugged into the NCIS [nee JAG] continuity too!)

This MAY be the start of a series...

BLACK SHEEP SQUADRON (Reimagined)

Anybody else think that Charlie Sheen, now that he's no longer on that sitcom with Jon Cryer and the 1/2 Man, would be perfect to portray Gregory "Pappy" Boyington? He even looks closer to the real man than Robert Conrad did in the 1970s series! Of course, we aren't going for a HOT SHOTS! prequel comedy...more like BAND OF BROTHERS. Closer to the actual history than the original TV series was.

The story, for those who never saw the original: Boyington was a fighter pilot who started when warplanes were still covered in canvas and open to the elements. (His original callsign was "Rats".) He left the Marine Corps months before Pearl Harbor to join the Flying Tigers in China, and had enough success with them to be given a squadron command. But then he blew the job just as the Regular Army was in the process of taking over the Tigers once America officially entered the war with Japan. Sent back Stateside, he suffered the dual shame of being dismissed from command for good cause, and for being in a unit the Regular soldiers called "chicken".

He re-entered the Marines, and with help from old buddies still in the Corps, he went back into action with the Cactus Air Force (the scratch multi-service task unit on Guadalcanal), mainly as a wingmate for other aces. After that tour ended, he arranged, with more abetting from his old friends, to steal command of a new squadron that was being formed and crew it with men in similar situations to his own--those the Regular Forces would have rather kept "safely out of trouble". With the latest fighter available--the F4U Corsair--the Black Sheep went into action and began re-writing the rules of air combat against the Japanese.

It was a meteoric tour of duty, only a few months in the fall and winter of 1943. The press loved the Black Sheep much more than the other American combat men in the area did, who loved them much more than the American commanders did, who loved them only slightly more than the enemy did. Pappy earned his redemption, becoming the top ace of the Marines--but paid for it. He was shot down while trying to save one of his own from getting killed, and was captured. He spent the rest of the War in a prison camp, while his men didn't know if he was alive.

The combination of his loss and the air action moving closer to Japan meant the Marines could rotate the Black Sheep out of theater. The squadron was disbanded, and then reformed with one of the original Black Sheep as the commander. They would be based on the carrier USS Franklin for the assault on Okinawa--their ship was hit by enemy bombers and half the men killed while they were being briefed for a mission. There has been a Black Sheep Squadron in the Marines ever since, and it has gone into action again and again, notably in the Korean War and Desert Storm.

Paul Francis had the remake of The A-Team on his DVD player during the Build Day party at his place yesterday.

Okay, it's generally agreed that the original show of the 1980s was dumb and mediocre at its very best. It was a modern-dress Western with low production values. It ran as long as it did because it was cheap to make and appealed to the lowest common denominator. I get that.

But it doesn't excuse Hollywood from making a "pitiful" feature film version.

THE NIGHT BEFORE MUNDA

It was the night before Munda, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring...no spoons and no mouse.
The maps and sectors were put in to place
In hopes that the Scav would make no mistakes.
The Scav was nestled all snug in his bed
While visions of enema danced in his head.
The take off next day was at T-ZERO.
The Scavenger hoped he'd soon be a hero.
His mission was to be a good scout.
His comrades awaited the sound of his shout.
The time passed slowly as onward he flew.
The moments grew tense, his anxiety grew.
When all of a sudden there arose such a sight.
The enema Bomber wing in all of their might.
Then down came the fighters they lanced through the sky.
Scav must report, for soon he would die.
The radio came on, the message was fast.
"Come Kotoshi and Bebop, on Twisted and Crash.
To the top of my sector I'm in 2 comma 2.
Hurry Grey Eagle, and Bushwacker too."
The fighters came down, their tracers flashed red.
Scavenger knew, he soon would be dead.
The flames then burst from the front of his Zero
Yes, he would die, but die as a hero.
As he started to burn he heard so much chatter
He listened to hear what could be the matter.
The radio broadcasted, the words he most feared.
"Scav reported the wrong sector, no bombers are here!"
His earphones turned red as his Commander exclaimed
"This could cost us the battle! God, Dweebs are a pain!"
--Terry "Scavenger" Naughton, circa 1993

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Grease 2.

Was flipping stations on TV after seeing the weather forecast...clicked to Th!s Network and saw the day's schedule: Starflight 1: The Plane That Couldn't Land, followed by The Panic In The Year Zero.

Starflight was the logical end of the Airport series but made by other hands, it might have been called Airport '83 and nobody other than Arthur Hailey would have cared. The plot: the first hypersonic passenger jet is forced to boost into low-Earth orbit to avoid debris from a failed satellite launch and is stranded in space. Lee Majors is the captain of the flight, Hal Linden is the mission control chief leading the response and rescue effort. The effects were fairly top-notch for the time. Looks like the cut Th!s is using is much shorter than the premiere version, tho'.

The Panic In The Year Zero is about a family struggling to survive in an America that had just suffered nuclear weapons strikes. It came out roughly the same time as the Cuban Missile Crisis and so probably got marks for its topicality. But what I think is strange about it...a while after I had seen it, I got a copy of the Robert Heinlein anthology The Menace From Earth which includes the story "The Year Of The Jackpot". Reading that, I realized that much of it was copied, nearly verbatim, into The Panic In The Year Zero. Which makes me wonder if Heinlein was plagiarized or if he consented and allowed his work to be used. Heinlein's story was first published nine years earlier, so the timing isn't unclear.

These movies will probably be shown again in their usual rotations. If your curious, check your local listings.