Pilot's Log

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Not in a very serious manner, although it sometimes was serious enough to break friendships. There were times when I forgave, but they wouldn't exactly forget. And how could I be sure that they would forgive me? Doesn't work too well, does it?

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Some would say that I'm already married to my car (a 2001 Chevy/Nummi Prizm known better as "Moonshine").

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It would be an uphill struggle but I'd have to make the effort. I think it would be like my relationship with my brother and sister, or mine with my sister's children. We dwell upon the differences but every so often we realize how alike we are at our cores.

Usually I don't repost Something*Positive due to the NSFW factor, but there is a part of me that wishes I had a girlfriend who talked about anything like Vanessa just did.

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You know?--I've NEVER had that problem.

Twice, I put up song quotes that probably seemed obscure to everybody. I didn't know how prophetic they would turn out to be.

They were from the Stevie Nicks' song "Blue Lamp", which was included on the soundtrack to the animated movie Heavy Metal. I'd have to see the movie again to find the on-screen context, but the off-screen context, and its parallels to my own life now, are worth explaining.

When Stevie wrote the song, she was arguably the most successful woman in the world of rock music. She achieved superstardom in the space of about five years since joining Fleetwood Mac. But this success also forced her to take a hard look at what really mattered in her life. She found herself at the same place a lot of "adult children" find themselves in regard to family relations; the need for love that isn't coddling, the need for freedom that isn't abandonment; the need for a more level relationship with one's parents.

This is what "Blue Lamp" is about, although it is, in another perspective, a Christmas song. So often these familial relationship troubles come to crises over the holidays, and so often people can't see the holidays as a time of joy but as an impending storm of raw emotions.

For many years, I was problematic when it came to family reunions. I'm trying to be more relaxed about it now and not as anxious...but it takes some effort. Sometimes it's a very necessary thing to drop being an adult for a day or two and go back to "Mama's Little Girl" or "Chip Off The Old Block" to remind your heart who you are--and who really loves you.

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I'm not the dating kind. Tho' I have to admit I was contemplating writing a fanfic about myself and Agent Prentice of Criminal Minds being forced to spend a weekend together.

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I broke off a friendship because the other person said a racist joke in front of me. I usually don't confront people or get in their faces because it usually turns out to be more trouble than it's worth. Just walk and they won't make you run.