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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNKg8Ex4Xr0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoOhnrjdYOc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt2mbGP6vFI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx6_-urg5fo

Three of these four Eighties classics played over the Muzak in recent days, and I just have to give the credit/blame to Mum's ghost. I'm linking rather than embedding just because I have too much other stuff to do.
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Or put another way, do I have any right to be depressed that I don't seem particularly depressed? Of course, I'm not happy, but I feel bizarrely calm and level and grounded. Given my history, I'm wondering if I should be worried. Have I done too much of a job internalizing and intellectualizing my emotions?
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This may or may not surprise you: while I did "go to college", I never actually "left home" and so I had a front row seat for my mother's entire literary career. She started by subscribing to Writer's Digest magazine at about the time my brother started school, and she took up the magazine's correspondence courses in creative writing. After a few short stories that never saw print, she turned to novel writing.

I LINK TO MOST OF HER COMPLETED WORKS HERE, but since that time one of her previous print-only books was re-issued as an e-book, we were attempting to get her only remaining print-only novel re-issued as well, and two other complete books had been submitted to her publisher but hadn't seen release. (I'll have to get back to her publisher[s] about that myself.) She's done a lot of work on her final book, and I hope to arrange for an author friend of hers here to complete it for her.

That still leaves a kennel full of orphaned story pups and kittens. As her assistant, I tried to keep track of them so I could help Mum stay focussed; I had a little file called the Tracker set up to log down which project was which. I'll share with you a selection of what was in it as of 2006, plus some other older concepts Jane had come upon.

ARTIST IN RESIDENCE: About a drama professor getting started at a small liberal arts college.

CELEBRITY CAMP: A reality-show inspired story about a secluded retreat where newly-rich and newly-famous people get accultured and learn to avoid the troubles of the new realities. (Previously, Jane had a similar idea called SNOB SCHOOL, about a teenage girl of a rock radio entrepreneur having to attend debutante school on the orders of her new stepfamily.)

THE CHILI POKER CLUB: A set of fast college friends try to keep their relationships alive after graduation by perpetuating a poker game club.

COMPLETE SET: A struggling young woman acquires a box of what she thinks is sewing patterns from a deceased lady's estate sale, but it turns out to be a collection of baseball cards kept in memory of her son lost in Vietnam. The discovery brings the woman into conflict with a recent widower friend of the lady and his pre-adolescent baseball fan son.

THE CONDO: A suspense tale about a woman fleeing a stalker, a private detective investigating hints of an impending cybernetic break-in at a bank, and the condo room they wind up having to share over that weekend.

CRISPY CONE: A sequel to DEARLY BELOVED set in the same town, about the family who runs a drive-in diner that is one of the social centers of the community.

THE DUCHESS: Based on the true life of Eleanora, an heir to nobility in Renaissance Italy who was at the center of many political intrigues and married the young Duke of Urbino in 1508.

THE FLIRTATION: It's been a long time since I'd seen this, so I've forgotten a lot about it. I think it's about a wager between two romantic intellectual rivals.

I'D RATHER BE IN VENICE: A very self-referential romantic suspense story about the world of art thieves and forgery.

MARRYING MAN: Set in Andrew Jackson-era Tennessee, it's about a "horse whisperer" woman who is something of a feminist--and her family's attempts to find a match for her and get her to "settle down".

THE OTHER WOMAN'S OTHER MAN: A fiancee hires a detective to verify the faith of her would-be husband...and the two determine that what looks like infidelity may in fact be blackmail.

PIECES OF THE PAST: The discovery of a quilt hidden in a wall of an old house being renovated leads to a treasure hunt--and some antics from ghosts of the house's previous occupants.

RESOLUTIONS: Three women at a New Year's Eve party are told by a psychic to write down their resolutions and the psychic promises to make them come true. The narrative follows the three over the course of the year...at the end they, and their loved ones, find that it all came true, but with changes.

SAFE AT HOME: A woman who swears off men after a break-up instead gets a break-in when a new tenant at her duplex mistakes her side for the side he's started renting. Can he make it up to her? Will she let him?

TWENTY-ONE GUN SALUTE: A young woman in a rich family turns twenty-one and gets full use of her share of the family trust fund...and she decides to start a business.

THE WIDOW SANDS: Based on true history...during the Pennsylvania Oil Boom of the late 19th Century (basically a parallel to the Wild West--and the spawning ground of much great industry wealth and robber baronies), a widow goes to the boom town and finds that the "school for girls" she inherited from her late speculator husband is a saloon and brothel. She struggles to set things right, and has difficulty riding herd over her "students", but eventually earns a respectability for the town that keeps it alive once the boom ends.

THE X.Y.Z. AFFAIR: Two law students (one named Xavier and one named Yeoman) and their professor (named Zackery) work together for the Public Defenders office when a poor landscape worker is accused of murdering a rich landowner. (This was intended to be the start of a series of mystery novels involving the same characters.)
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I'm in Facebook chat conversation with my wonderful sister Lynn. We're all handling Mum's departure from our lives in different ways...tho' really there's no point in getting into details.

I was reminded of the time back when we were children, when Lynn's first cat Fluffy died. Lynn was so upset and hurting that she wrote the news opinion commentator of a local TV station--and he responded by reading some of her letter on air and expressing his condolensces to her for everybody.

On a whim I did a websearch for the name of the cat and the name of the TV station together: THIS is what came up.

The Circle of Life is a very real thing. Sometimes the next world is Heaven or Paradise, and maybe we don't see loved ones again. Or maybe we just come back to this one, in a form that befits us better and fated to find love and happiness. You know love can endure--and you know it will!--one of Mum's favorite songs from Crosby, Stills and Nash.
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I am rooted in the reality of my situation, but there is a part of me who just wants to wake up from the nightmare, go downstairs and greet Mum as she walks back in the house from her garden.

I'm not ashamed of being a Mama's Boy. I can stand on my own two feet...but I still love her and I'm going to miss her.

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Stephen R Bierce

March 2022

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