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A Pilot Looks At Forty, Part I
Dec. 15th, 2006 07:34 pmHey.
Yes, the fourth decade clicks off my odometer today. As for swag, so far it's two sweaters (I'm wearing one now, and a third one is promised to me) and a desert-camo fatigues suit.
I've spent this entire decade up here in Tennessee (aside from three vacations and assorted jaunts, of course)...and coming here in the first place not only was NOT my idea, but the result of a losing battle against interests at cross-purposes to my own. I average a job every two years...all but two lasting substantially less than a year, and the other two only lasting a year. My habit of walking before they make me run has been both a boon and a detriment to my career. I've been my usually good relative health state the whole time. The only times I've been inside a hospital in this past ten years have been to visit other people who were patients. I guess I should count myself lucky there.
My biggest problem is my vision of my lifepath. I have no idea where I actually want to be at age fifty. All I want is it to not be the same as it is now. I think all my ideas for a lifepath worthy of me have been derailed either by events or my own misfortune. I only have myself to blame for my lack of success. But I'm sure I would have been more successful if I had a better goal to plan for, and a better method for planning and implementation than my usual method of hoping for the worst, and expecting something in the middle of the bell curve. I know it sounds wrong; it IS wrong.
More to come. Need to get off the line for Dead Hour.
FP
Yes, the fourth decade clicks off my odometer today. As for swag, so far it's two sweaters (I'm wearing one now, and a third one is promised to me) and a desert-camo fatigues suit.
I've spent this entire decade up here in Tennessee (aside from three vacations and assorted jaunts, of course)...and coming here in the first place not only was NOT my idea, but the result of a losing battle against interests at cross-purposes to my own. I average a job every two years...all but two lasting substantially less than a year, and the other two only lasting a year. My habit of walking before they make me run has been both a boon and a detriment to my career. I've been my usually good relative health state the whole time. The only times I've been inside a hospital in this past ten years have been to visit other people who were patients. I guess I should count myself lucky there.
My biggest problem is my vision of my lifepath. I have no idea where I actually want to be at age fifty. All I want is it to not be the same as it is now. I think all my ideas for a lifepath worthy of me have been derailed either by events or my own misfortune. I only have myself to blame for my lack of success. But I'm sure I would have been more successful if I had a better goal to plan for, and a better method for planning and implementation than my usual method of hoping for the worst, and expecting something in the middle of the bell curve. I know it sounds wrong; it IS wrong.
More to come. Need to get off the line for Dead Hour.
FP
