FreeWill Ain't Fallin' Fo' No Banana In Da Tailpipe!

Sagittarius Horoscope for week of May 11, 2017

You can bake your shoes in the oven at 350 degrees for 40 minutes, but that won't turn them into loaves of bread. Know what I'm saying, Sagittarius? Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly over the rainbow. Catch my drift? You'll never create a silk purse out of dental floss and dead leaves. That's why I offer you the following advice: In the next two weeks, do your best to avoid paper tigers, red herrings, fool's gold, fake news, Trojan horses, straw men, pink elephants, convincing pretenders, and invisible bridges. There'll be a reward if you do: close encounters with shockingly beautiful honesty and authenticity that will be among your most useful blessings of 2017.

I have a bunch of song lyrics to quote but I won't as a service to you.