Stephen R Bierce (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
frustratedpilot) wrote2005-03-08 12:01 am
frustratedpilot) wrote2005-03-08 12:01 am
The Book of Tepid, Section I
Hey.
"The Book of Tepid" is a loose collection of my signature lines, quotes and quasi-witticisms that I've been assembling since 1997. Some of these quotes have been used by others, and I thank them. But I am taking the opportunity now to post the whole thing to set the record straight. I'll post this in three Sections.
Here we go:
THE BOOK OF TEPID, 2005 EDITION
"It's a shame that this nation has a prohibition on cruel and unusual punishment. I say this because I know a great way to get revenge upon the inventor of the pop-up Window..."--Tepid 1:07
"Apathy and Enthusiasm are running neck and neck. At least Vehement Aversion is still in the starting gate."--Tepid 1:08
"I do not ask for much in my life. At last count, the world only owes me a bicycle and a surplus football jersey from a losing team. But I can live without both these things."--Tepid 1:09
"I have met the Devil Incarnate, and He likes bacon. And first-person shooter games."--Tepid 1:13
"I'm so accustomed to being utterly demoralized that all other feelings have become alien to me."--Tepid 1:14
"'Mostly Naked' will always be controversial. Get used to it."--Tepid 1:15
"I can only hope that future generations are treated better, to the point that chocolate is merely surpassed by something more awesome."--Tepid 1:26
"You can believe in God or you can believe in liberty but God will not let you believe in both; Under God there is no liberty."--Tepid 2:01
"There's a Macek-er born every minute!"--Tepid 2:08
"I could have made one hundred times what I made in 2002 and still have paid absolutely nothing in income taxes. I know it's pathetic, but how many people can say that?"--Tepid 2:10
"Breadbox? Yea, I've got a breadbox. And I, like, keep bread in it. Is that such a big surprise?"--Tepid 2:24
"Trust Acme quality products. One flattened Coyote can't be wrong."--Tepid 2:27
"Some people like to fight ire with fire but I'd rather fight arse with ice."--Tepid 2:29
"Too few of our citizens make too much of our 'culture'."--Tepid 3:01
"If your gods are dead, then who are you praying to?"--Tepid 3:03
"Blame not the hardware for the phenomenon of dehumanization. People have been dehumanizing themselves and one another since the era when there were no humans to dehumanize."--Tepid 3:04
"Is there a waiting period for industrial-sized cutlery in Kansas?"--Tepid 3:06
"What lawyer is going to go out of their way to ensure the safety of alien lifeforms--when we haven't even finished the job of ensuring the safety of all human beings?"--Tepid 3:13
"Both reality and normality are highly overrated."--Tepid 3:16
"In this country, when a minority person does something great that person is said to be blessed with holy courage and moral superiority; when a white male does something great it's because he's a scum-sucking, scum-grubbing, scum-fortified bag of scum. I'm a white male. Is it any surprise I have problems motivating myself to do anything, let alone anything great?"--Tepid 3:18
"It gives me no satisfaction that the majority of the world has sunken to the emotional depths I've inhabited for years. If anything, I resent the encroachment on my ecological niche without any benefit from the event on my behalf."--Tepid 3:21
"The people who sell 'Jesus' trinkets have conveniently forgotten what Jesus did to sellers of religious trinkets."--Tepid 3:23
"So what do you do with the Mobius after you've stripped?"--Tepid 3:24
"As my buddy Dave Farris would say...'Ouch!'"--Tepid 3:25
"The Book of Tepid" is a loose collection of my signature lines, quotes and quasi-witticisms that I've been assembling since 1997. Some of these quotes have been used by others, and I thank them. But I am taking the opportunity now to post the whole thing to set the record straight. I'll post this in three Sections.
Here we go:
THE BOOK OF TEPID, 2005 EDITION
"It's a shame that this nation has a prohibition on cruel and unusual punishment. I say this because I know a great way to get revenge upon the inventor of the pop-up Window..."--Tepid 1:07
"Apathy and Enthusiasm are running neck and neck. At least Vehement Aversion is still in the starting gate."--Tepid 1:08
"I do not ask for much in my life. At last count, the world only owes me a bicycle and a surplus football jersey from a losing team. But I can live without both these things."--Tepid 1:09
"I have met the Devil Incarnate, and He likes bacon. And first-person shooter games."--Tepid 1:13
"I'm so accustomed to being utterly demoralized that all other feelings have become alien to me."--Tepid 1:14
"'Mostly Naked' will always be controversial. Get used to it."--Tepid 1:15
"I can only hope that future generations are treated better, to the point that chocolate is merely surpassed by something more awesome."--Tepid 1:26
"You can believe in God or you can believe in liberty but God will not let you believe in both; Under God there is no liberty."--Tepid 2:01
"There's a Macek-er born every minute!"--Tepid 2:08
"I could have made one hundred times what I made in 2002 and still have paid absolutely nothing in income taxes. I know it's pathetic, but how many people can say that?"--Tepid 2:10
"Breadbox? Yea, I've got a breadbox. And I, like, keep bread in it. Is that such a big surprise?"--Tepid 2:24
"Trust Acme quality products. One flattened Coyote can't be wrong."--Tepid 2:27
"Some people like to fight ire with fire but I'd rather fight arse with ice."--Tepid 2:29
"Too few of our citizens make too much of our 'culture'."--Tepid 3:01
"If your gods are dead, then who are you praying to?"--Tepid 3:03
"Blame not the hardware for the phenomenon of dehumanization. People have been dehumanizing themselves and one another since the era when there were no humans to dehumanize."--Tepid 3:04
"Is there a waiting period for industrial-sized cutlery in Kansas?"--Tepid 3:06
"What lawyer is going to go out of their way to ensure the safety of alien lifeforms--when we haven't even finished the job of ensuring the safety of all human beings?"--Tepid 3:13
"Both reality and normality are highly overrated."--Tepid 3:16
"In this country, when a minority person does something great that person is said to be blessed with holy courage and moral superiority; when a white male does something great it's because he's a scum-sucking, scum-grubbing, scum-fortified bag of scum. I'm a white male. Is it any surprise I have problems motivating myself to do anything, let alone anything great?"--Tepid 3:18
"It gives me no satisfaction that the majority of the world has sunken to the emotional depths I've inhabited for years. If anything, I resent the encroachment on my ecological niche without any benefit from the event on my behalf."--Tepid 3:21
"The people who sell 'Jesus' trinkets have conveniently forgotten what Jesus did to sellers of religious trinkets."--Tepid 3:23
"So what do you do with the Mobius after you've stripped?"--Tepid 3:24
"As my buddy Dave Farris would say...'Ouch!'"--Tepid 3:25